new year's eve 12/31/2024
Jan. 1st, 2025 02:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hooeygooeytoday i woke up and tried to join cecily's stream. i had over 20 million json files in my c drive i needed to delete first though. i ran the delete command in command prompt for hours and after i deleted all of it i was able to join. she didn't quite reach her goal. i feel bad for her. she seems really down. i love her a lot so i want to call her to cheer her up but she ended up going to bed because i was out at a family event for new year's eve.
the family event went okay. i had a good time talking to my family. at least everyone except one person, my aunt. i never have pleasant experiences talking to her. she has the same personality as a 12 year old who just discovered politics. she offered me vodka and i declined because i didn't wanna drink around family, and she said "aw man. i LOVE drinking around family. especially when it makes them really mad." i just said "bro..." and walked off. my entire family being lds, i just know they'd get uncomfortable with that sort of thing.
at some point i was talking to my mom, and my aunt butted in and threw in a "yeah but now that TRUMP got elected he's gonna do X." i don't even remember what it was. i just remember the convo spiraling out of control from there. my aunt kept going on and on about left wing politics, even though she was factually wrong about a lot of stuff. i'm trans and left leaning, and even I got annoyed with her. i kept telling her to can it, but she wouldn't. at some point i really started to lay into her. she started to go on and on and she started to say some really messed up stuff about my mom and i started to get really mad. i started telling her that she was being insufferable, and i started using some pretty strong language. of course nothing was her fault, though. she kept being horrible about my mom and family and their religion and at some point i said "yknow what, i'm gonna take my own advice here and stop talking now." she kept saying "but.. but this and that!" and i said "bye! bye! byeee!" and i walked outside and had to calm down. cecily texted me at that point and started to be really sad because her stream just ended. i tried to help her feel better but she was really sad, which i understand. i went back to the porch and my mom asked me what my aunt was saying. apparently she was saying "abi was saying such horrible things about the family!" (abigail is my first name, serena is my middle) and she tried to flip the entire thing on me. eventually she just left the party. other than all of that, i had a good time. everyone left early, though, so i went home early too and ended up kissing all the dogs here on the snout when it turned midnight. if i'm gonna do a new year's kiss, who says it can't be on a dog's snout?
i had a dream last night about this girl around here named joy. she's a gorgeous trans girl and she's been to all my shows. i guess i must really like her, because i keep having dreams that we go on dates and end up really liking each other, but i wake up and realize i'm still pretty alone irl. after i woke up, she actually texted me and asked if we could hang out. i told her yeah, and it sounds like we may go to the arcade tomorrow at about 3. i hope we end up doing that. i've always gotten so flustered around her whenever i talk to her at shows. she's so cute. i used to tell cecily about her before me and cecily started dating, and before i divorced meredith. i'm curious and worried about how it will go, though. she has cecily blocked on bluesky, but she knows i'm dating her and that doesn't seem to stop her from being cool with me. we are hanging out under the pretense of it just being a hang out session, which is totally okay. i don't think it's really a date but i wouldn't complain if it was. i think she's monogamous, though. i think she's beautiful but i wouldn't leave cecily for something mono. i just can't do that again. we'll see what happens. i'm nervous. i haven't been this nervous about hanging out with a girl in.. god.. 7 and a half years now? wow. she must be really cool if i feel this way.
update:
oh yeah a random note, i started playing starship today, which is a pc port of star fox 64 and it's rad. it lets me select any level, it runs at a consistent 60 fps, and there's no in game slow down. it also runs in a wider aspect ratio which is so cool. i can also easily do cheats so i played through venom 1 on expert with no wing damage quite a bit. i could see myself prefering this way more than running it on a proper emulator. i might sit in some calls and play it or something. it's time to procrastinate on my music!
the family event went okay. i had a good time talking to my family. at least everyone except one person, my aunt. i never have pleasant experiences talking to her. she has the same personality as a 12 year old who just discovered politics. she offered me vodka and i declined because i didn't wanna drink around family, and she said "aw man. i LOVE drinking around family. especially when it makes them really mad." i just said "bro..." and walked off. my entire family being lds, i just know they'd get uncomfortable with that sort of thing.
at some point i was talking to my mom, and my aunt butted in and threw in a "yeah but now that TRUMP got elected he's gonna do X." i don't even remember what it was. i just remember the convo spiraling out of control from there. my aunt kept going on and on about left wing politics, even though she was factually wrong about a lot of stuff. i'm trans and left leaning, and even I got annoyed with her. i kept telling her to can it, but she wouldn't. at some point i really started to lay into her. she started to go on and on and she started to say some really messed up stuff about my mom and i started to get really mad. i started telling her that she was being insufferable, and i started using some pretty strong language. of course nothing was her fault, though. she kept being horrible about my mom and family and their religion and at some point i said "yknow what, i'm gonna take my own advice here and stop talking now." she kept saying "but.. but this and that!" and i said "bye! bye! byeee!" and i walked outside and had to calm down. cecily texted me at that point and started to be really sad because her stream just ended. i tried to help her feel better but she was really sad, which i understand. i went back to the porch and my mom asked me what my aunt was saying. apparently she was saying "abi was saying such horrible things about the family!" (abigail is my first name, serena is my middle) and she tried to flip the entire thing on me. eventually she just left the party. other than all of that, i had a good time. everyone left early, though, so i went home early too and ended up kissing all the dogs here on the snout when it turned midnight. if i'm gonna do a new year's kiss, who says it can't be on a dog's snout?
i had a dream last night about this girl around here named joy. she's a gorgeous trans girl and she's been to all my shows. i guess i must really like her, because i keep having dreams that we go on dates and end up really liking each other, but i wake up and realize i'm still pretty alone irl. after i woke up, she actually texted me and asked if we could hang out. i told her yeah, and it sounds like we may go to the arcade tomorrow at about 3. i hope we end up doing that. i've always gotten so flustered around her whenever i talk to her at shows. she's so cute. i used to tell cecily about her before me and cecily started dating, and before i divorced meredith. i'm curious and worried about how it will go, though. she has cecily blocked on bluesky, but she knows i'm dating her and that doesn't seem to stop her from being cool with me. we are hanging out under the pretense of it just being a hang out session, which is totally okay. i don't think it's really a date but i wouldn't complain if it was. i think she's monogamous, though. i think she's beautiful but i wouldn't leave cecily for something mono. i just can't do that again. we'll see what happens. i'm nervous. i haven't been this nervous about hanging out with a girl in.. god.. 7 and a half years now? wow. she must be really cool if i feel this way.
update:
oh yeah a random note, i started playing starship today, which is a pc port of star fox 64 and it's rad. it lets me select any level, it runs at a consistent 60 fps, and there's no in game slow down. it also runs in a wider aspect ratio which is so cool. i can also easily do cheats so i played through venom 1 on expert with no wing damage quite a bit. i could see myself prefering this way more than running it on a proper emulator. i might sit in some calls and play it or something. it's time to procrastinate on my music!
